Response to Violence Need not be Self Perpetuating

Bernie Curran has outlined some ways of insuring that violence will not be self-perpetuating by directing attention to the underlying causes of violence: poverty, addiction, lack of education, teen pregnancy, domestic abuse, single-parent homes, poor relational skills. We as a society must deal with these causes if we hope to do anything but engage in the current practice of building more prisons, incarcerating ever more persons, and throwing away the keys.

"Violence begets violence" we have heard, and I do believe it. My experience tells me that the opposite is also true, that non-violence begets non-violence, that kindness and compassion and, above all, respect for the dignity of the other, can change the cycle of violence. It is the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

For over 25 years I have been dealing with men and women accused of very violent crimes, including murder. I try not to let such charges influence my behavior. I try to treat the person with whom I am speaking with courtesy and respect. Ninety-nine percent of the time that is what I receive in return. We do need to start early to teach non-violent behavior in our homes and schools; in patterns of play, of sports, of project collaboration, of business decision-making. We need to exercise a kind of "language ecology:" not using words loosely, (e.g., I could kill you for that!) which gradually shape a violent response. But we must not give up on those who have committed violent acts. I have seen too many examples of respect, concern, and gentleness gaining the upper hand in previously violent persons. All things are possible with God . . .