A Life Giving Place

Genesis House is a residence for a very special group of women who want to bring about an almost complete change of lifestyle. Some of these women are homeless, some are alcoholics, some are drug-dependent, some are married, some have children, but their common denominator is that they have been prostitutes. Genesis House was founded in 1984 by Edwina Gateley, a British Catholic lay-missionary who also founded the Volunteer Missionary Movement. Genesis House, in its seven years of existence, has given support, encouragement and rehabilitation to over 4,500 women. Depaul Genska, OFM - a longtime friend of Stauros, a minister to prostitutes, and a strong supporter of Genesis House - was instrumental in setting up an appointment for myself and Judy Benson to interview the director and two of the residents. His encouragement and his experience were both instrumental in reinforcing our conviction that an article on Genesis House fulfills the mission of Stauros. This ministry is a response to a very particular kind of suffering, and, in the video "Who Cares About A Hooker?" Edwina Gateley says "Genesis House is a basic Christian response to a suffering condition."

We came away from our visit with some understanding of this very special kind of suffering. We hope, through this article, to convey that understanding to you, our readers. It is fitting that we begin by quoting the Genesis House Mission Statement. It reads: the mission of genesis house is to offer hospitality to all women caught up in the system of prostitution, to provide an environment where they can make a free choice regarding their lifestyle and to assist those who choose to leave prostitution by offering them appropriate services and support. ** A primary focus of Genesis House is to provide a long-term residential program which combines a nurturing therapeutic family environment with the necessary support services, ** Another important focus of Genesis House is to provide support services and crisis shelter to all women involved in prostitution. Women are made aware of these services through an extensive outreach program. *** Genesis House also serves as voice for change in the political, legal and social systems which contribute to the perpetuation of prostitution.

Debbie FioRito-Mitchell, the Executive Director of Genesis House, is an attorney and has long been an advocate for the women at Genesis House. She is dynamic and energetic and, very obviously, believes firmly in the Genesis House Mission. The two residents gave us of their time, but, more importantly, they gave us of themselves. They were open in telling us about their lives and their hopes and their dreams. They are beautiful women, beautiful on the outside and beautiful on the inside, and spending time with them was, indeed, a privilege. They wanted to tell their stories and to share their suffering, but they did this in an unassuming, nondramatic manner. They spoke quietly, pointedly, articulately, about their own lives, about Genesis House, about their hopes for the future.

Who Is this Woman Who Has Turned to Prostitution as a Lifestyle?

We are looking at a woman who frequently, almost always, comes from a dysfunctional family, who has experienced emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse, and who has often left home to escape that abuse. Seventy-five percent of her sister prostitutes on the streets are teenagers. She may have, literally, been "1thrown out" of her home. She may have no home at all. She may have completed high school, but frequently has not. We cannot deny that this woman's own behavior patterns are factors leading to this lifestyle, but, at that same time, we need to acknowledge that this woman is caught up in a no-win situation. Poverty, lack of education, lack of opportunity, in particular, lack of someone who really cares, the lack of someone who will walk with her, the need to find someone who cares-these are all elements which may lead to the lifestyle of prostitution. This woman has immense guilt feelings, usually stemming from childhood abuse, and consequently, she has a poor, or non-existent self-image. We cannot deny, of course, that there are prostitutes who come from middle or even upper middle class homes. In one way or another, mistakes, misunderstandings, missteps, have led these women to prostitution, to life on the streets. This quickly becomes a one-way street, a path of no return.

We Are Looking at a Woman Who Is Searching for Love, for Support, for Security. She may have children to support; she- needs money; she needs protection. She is desperate and feels she has no where to turn. Prostitution becomes a means of support; it is a way to make a living. One of the women we interviewed said it in this way, "When you have nothing to sell, you sell yourself." But prostitution is a business and to enter any business you need some kind of a connection. The pimp becomes that connection, and, at least initially, becomes the person who offers her the support and security she needs. She easily becomes dependent on the pimp. He encourages that dependency and usually reinforces it by introducing her to drugs. Once dependent on the pimp and on drugs, a repeating cycle has begun-a cycle of prostitution, drugs, arrests, imprisonment prostitution, drugs, arrests, imprisonment.

We Are Looking at a Woman Caught in a Lifestyle of Prostitution, Drugs,- Alcohol, at a Woman Caught in a Legal System Which Does Little to - Help Her. Prostitution is unlawful and most prostitutes -are subjected to several arrests, convictions and imprisonments. There is little attempt at rehabilitation, and release from prison usually means a return to the streets. To go "straight" the woman needs legal, financial, emotional support, and where, in this lifestyle can she find such support?

We Are Looking at a Woman Who Is Suffering. We need to focus on the special suffering of the prostitute. Some of- us - may look at her and use the old cliche, "There, but for the grace of God, go I," but we don't really mean it. Perhaps we are really saying, "There's no way I would make my living like that, ‘they' could be doing something else," "With all the opportunities that life gives, there has to be something else for these women." Are these fair questions? Are these true questions? Is prostitution, rather than a form of suffering, a way of life that could be avoided? Or, on the other hand, is prostitution another of the forms of exploitation of women, another of the traps in which women get caught? Our interviews with Debbie and the two women convinced us that the latter is, for the most part, the true statement.

We have been looking at a woman caught, perhaps partially because of her own errors, but mostly because of our system, in a lifestyle from which escape is very difficult. She may desperately want "but", may want very much to change her lifestyle, but, to whom can she turn? It is easy for us to ask why she doesn't just find a good job. Why, indeed? What will she use for references? What is she going to say she has been doing for the past five, seven, ten years? What are her skills? What happens when the potential employer, the interviewer, is one of her former clients? He has not spent time in jail, his very respectable life has continued, he has no stigma. But she has a stigma and a very, very real one.

We Have Seen That Prostitution Is an Entrapment, An Enslavement, and That the Women Caught in This Trap Are Usually Unable to Get out of it Without Help.- The help they need comes from a place like Genesis House.- The staff and volunteers (many are ex-residents) at Genesis House go to the courts, to the prisons, to the streets, and find these women. They offer the women the support, the love, the security, the home that has been so lacking in their lives. They beg the judges to send the women to Genesis House rather than to prison, and many judges are relieved to be able to do that. Many judges realize the system is not good, they realize that they are simply continuing the cycle by imprisoning the women, but they feel they have no other recourse. Genesis House offers another option.

We need to realize that taking the step towards Genesis House is not an easy step. The lifestyle of the prostitute is an addiction in itself. It is not easy to give up a nice apartment, beautiful clothes, perhaps a steady supply of needed drugs, for a bed in a house with five or six other women. It is not easy to give up a job that possibly paid $100 an hour for a job that pays minimal wage. We don't really know what we would do in such a situation, but we need only to look at some of our national scandals and we know how easy it is to be caught up in a lifestyle, how easy it is to be caught up in lying, deceit, unethical behavior, in order to maintain a lifestyle. Before we condemn the prostitute, before we make quick judgments about how easy it should be for her to move into the "straight" world, let's at least try to put ourselves in a similar situation and acknowledge how we might respond.

The staff at Genesis House has found that it usually takes a minimum of three years before a woman can walk away from the close safety net of support which the program provides. When a woman comes to Genesis House, either through judicial action, or through intervention by a staff member or volunteer, she begins a 12 step program, modeled on the AA program. Drug-dependent women are referred to a treatment center. One of the women we interviewed was drug-dependent and knew she needed help. She had, of course, no insurance and was turned down by several treatment centers. Someone referred her to Genesis House and the staff arranged for her to go to a treatment center. She is now at Genesis House, is attending college, is still in the process of rehabilitation, but is, more and more, taking command of her own life.

The counselors at Genesis House convince the women that they have the tools and the skills that they need to make a life for themselves in the "straight" world. Self-esteem and self-confidence have been almost non-existent for these women, but with the help of support persons, they are taught to think positively about themselves. These women had no identity. One of them told us that if she had died, no one would have known or even cared.

There is an intense loneliness in the prostitute's life, and this is certainly a part of their suffering. However, at Genesis House they feel a bondedness, they experience an unconditional love, they learn to live life on life's terms. They learn that they can make good judgments, but that if they make mistakes, they can work through the mistakes. They learn to be accountable, not only to the staff, but, more importantly, to each other. Each of them knows what it took for the other to walk out of the hell, and the support they give each other is a significant part of their recovery. They learn how to work through the stigma they feel. These women cannot go through life constantly worrying that they may be found out. The chances are that they will be found out, and they need to learn how to handle that. But the important thing is that they have a support system, they have a home, they are not alone, unloved, unwanted. They have gotten out of the cycle.

We have tried to focus on the suffering of the prostitute, a suffering that is real and present. There is the suffering of self-hatred, the suffering of loneliness, the suffering of dependency, the suffering of lack of identity, the suffering of friendlessness, the suffering of drug-dependency, the suffering of being caught in a system that perpetuates itself, the suffering of not seeing the light of day. The staff at Genesis House brings that light, is that friend, gives that identity, helps work towards independence, provides a nurturing, loving, life-giving place where the woman can turn her life around, take command of her life, realize her own potentiality, and, most importantly, realize her own value and goodness.

Unfortunately, the future of Genesis House is in jeopardy. The owners are selling the building and, although Genesis House has the first option to buy, they do not have the funds for a down payment. We most sincerely hope that funds can be obtained and this ministry which gives women a second chance can not only continue, but even expand.

References

• Gateley, Edwina. Psalms of a Laywoman (1988) and I Hear a Seed Growing (1990) Trabuco Canyon, California: Source Books.
• "Who Cares About A Hooker?" 1/2" videotape available from: Genesis House, 911 West Addison, Chicago, Illinois 60613.